"Every fairytale needs a good old-fashioned villain. You need me, or you're nothing."

moriarty-walks-free:

brigwife:

things you can do in the uk at 16 years of age

  • get married (with parental permission)
  • start a family
  • join the army where they use guns and bombs and shit
  • move out

things you can’t do in the uk at 16 years of age

  • buy a pair of scissors

are you serious

puppetamateur:

okay but consider these

  • 'oh my god im so sorry my dog usually doesnt jump up on people like this i have no idea what their deal is but also hey there'
  • met while jumping into the same pile of freshly raked leaves in a park (alternatively, one jumps in and they met when no 2…

immersings:

I grow super attached to people so please give me a 60 day warning before I stop existing to you.

cassjaytuck:

what if you started making car alarm noises when people you didn’t like touched you

squadleaderhanjizoe:

*strums guitar* i feel excluded from everything but it’s mostly my fault because i distance myself because i think i’m annoying *strums guitar*

juliankoster:

animals-riding-animals:

turtle riding capybara (pursued by swan)

this is intense

juliankoster:

animals-riding-animals:

turtle riding capybara (pursued by swan)

this is intense

baeddelbludd:

LIFE HACK: disguise your nervous breakdown as a series of jokes

demonhunting:

is ellen even hosting or is she just hanging out with famous people

corporateaccount:

corporateaccount:

iowa is the only state that consists entirely of vowels

image

“w is not a vowel”
every message in my inbox for the next 16 years (via corporateaccount)

People
are not
rain
or
snow
or autumn
leaves;

they
do not
look
beautiful
when
they
fall

peniscruncher:

dusknoirs:

who was the asshole that decided tattoos looked unprofessional 

the generation that did is dying out so don’t worry

weedjoke420:

she’s beauty and she’s grace, she dropped her phone on her face